Are relationships really that difficult or do we just make them difficult? Despite having gone through multiple failed relationships before meeting my husband/life partner, I’m going to answer FALSE to the question of whether relationships are difficult.
You see, I don’t think relationships are difficult in and of themselves. I believe the reason they’re difficult is because WE MAKE THEM DIFFICULT. And the reason we make them difficult is because we keep making the following 3 FATAL MISTAKES when we date:
FATAL MISTAKE #1: We choose the wrong people
For example, we want a committed relationship yet we choose to date men who don’t want to commit. Or we get so enamored by his looks that we ignore the fact that he treats us poorly. Or we pursue relationships with people whose core values differ radically from our own, and then we wonder why things never work out!
FATAL MISTAKE #2: We ignore red flags and deal-breakers
We fool ourselves into thinking that the red flags and warning signs will just magically disappear and vanish on their own, but of course that never happens. One lesson I’ve learned MANY times the heard way is that red flags don’t turn green!
FATAL MISTAKE #3: We don’t communicate our needs and feelings effectively
For example, when he says or does something that bothers us, we keep our hurt feelings locked up inside rather than calling him out on what he did wrong. Or we fail to set boundaries around how we wish to be treated, and as a result, we get treated like crap!
Whenever we make any of these 3 fatal mistakes, we give up our power to create and experience a happy, long-lasting relationship.
There’s no doubt about it: relationships do take work, but when you’re in a relationship with the right person, that work becomes a heck of a lot easier. Instead of struggling to make it as a couple, you’re able to work together to navigate through all the ups and downs of life.
I remember my dating coach Joe Amoia, would always say, “When you’re with the right person, dating becomes so easy.” When I first heard that, I was like, “Yeah, right!” because I was in the midst of a bad relationship and couldn’t fathom how dating could possibly be easy or enjoyable.
But once I met the man who’s now my husband, I realized that Joe Amoia was absolutely right. Dating did become much easier when I was with the right person. I felt so much more relaxed and at ease. I didn’t worry all the time whether he was going to call or if I’d ever see him again. Things just flowed easily and naturally.
Now that’s not to say that we never disagree or have conflict because I assure you that we do. But when it happens, we don’t freak out or run away. Instead, we compromise and work together to resolve the issue at hand.
Sometimes it seems surreal that I found such an amazing guy to spend my life with. But I assure you, it IS real. In fact, it’s just as real now as it was 10 years ago when I first met him. And it’s all because I did one very important thing: I chose the right person.
So now I’d like to you look back on your past relationships and see if you made any of the 3 fatal mistakes I mentioned earlier. If you did, then that’s probably why your relationship was difficult. However, it doesn’t mean that you’re destined to keep having difficult relationships in the future.
If you stop making those 3 mistakes and become a more empowered dater, you’ll notice that having difficult relationships will become a thing of the past. By making better choices in your love life, dating will become much easier, and the quality of your relationships will improve. Like me, you’ll realize that when you’re with the right person, relationships really aren’t so difficult after all!
FATAL MISTAKE #1: We choose the wrong people
For example, we want a committed relationship yet we choose to date men who don’t want to commit. Or we get so enamored by his looks that we ignore the fact that he treats us poorly. Or we pursue relationships with people whose core values differ radically from our own, and then we wonder why things never work out!
FATAL MISTAKE #2: We ignore red flags and deal-breakers
We fool ourselves into thinking that the red flags and warning signs will just magically disappear and vanish on their own, but of course that never happens. One lesson I’ve learned MANY times the heard way is that red flags don’t turn green!
FATAL MISTAKE #3: We don’t communicate our needs and feelings effectively
For example, when he says or does something that bothers us, we keep our hurt feelings locked up inside rather than calling him out on what he did wrong. Or we fail to set boundaries around how we wish to be treated, and as a result, we get treated like crap!
Whenever we make any of these 3 fatal mistakes, we give up our power to create and experience a happy, long-lasting relationship.
There’s no doubt about it: relationships do take work, but when you’re in a relationship with the right person, that work becomes a heck of a lot easier. Instead of struggling to make it as a couple, you’re able to work together to navigate through all the ups and downs of life.
I remember my dating coach Joe Amoia, would always say, “When you’re with the right person, dating becomes so easy.” When I first heard that, I was like, “Yeah, right!” because I was in the midst of a bad relationship and couldn’t fathom how dating could possibly be easy or enjoyable.
But once I met the man who’s now my husband, I realized that Joe Amoia was absolutely right. Dating did become much easier when I was with the right person. I felt so much more relaxed and at ease. I didn’t worry all the time whether he was going to call or if I’d ever see him again. Things just flowed easily and naturally.
Now that’s not to say that we never disagree or have conflict because I assure you that we do. But when it happens, we don’t freak out or run away. Instead, we compromise and work together to resolve the issue at hand.
Sometimes it seems surreal that I found such an amazing guy to spend my life with. But I assure you, it IS real. In fact, it’s just as real now as it was 10 years ago when I first met him. And it’s all because I did one very important thing: I chose the right person.
So now I’d like to you look back on your past relationships and see if you made any of the 3 fatal mistakes I mentioned earlier. If you did, then that’s probably why your relationship was difficult. However, it doesn’t mean that you’re destined to keep having difficult relationships in the future.
If you stop making those 3 mistakes and become a more empowered dater, you’ll notice that having difficult relationships will become a thing of the past. By making better choices in your love life, dating will become much easier, and the quality of your relationships will improve. Like me, you’ll realize that when you’re with the right person, relationships really aren’t so difficult after all!