I'm sure you're familiar with the phrase "pick your battles". I learned this lesson pretty early on, especially during the first few weeks of my marriage. Even now, I still have to keep reminding myself of it!
No matter how great your partner may be, there will ALWAYS be times when he does or says something that angers you, frustrates you, or just simply drives you nuts!
The problem is, if you complain about every little thing he does wrong, he'll think you're a fussy nit-picker who's impossible to please. As a result, the quality of your relationship will suffer.
No matter how great your partner may be, there will ALWAYS be times when he does or says something that angers you, frustrates you, or just simply drives you nuts!
The problem is, if you complain about every little thing he does wrong, he'll think you're a fussy nit-picker who's impossible to please. As a result, the quality of your relationship will suffer.
Does that mean you have to suck it up whenever your partner does or says something that rubs you the wrong way? Of course not! It simply means that you have to carefully choose what's really worth fighting over and/or complaining about.
Here are 3 "battles" that I believe are worth picking:
1. Your partner does or says something that's downright hurtful or rude to you.
When I was dating and my partner behaved unacceptably towards me, I called him out on it and tactfully let him know that I was not going to put up with his hurtful words and/or actions. For example, I once dated a man who went 2 weeks without calling me (and this was several months into our relationship!) When he finally "resurfaced", I politely but firmly let him know that if we were going to have a relationship, I needed him to keep in contact with me on a regular basis.
2. Your partner engages in (or is about to engage in) irresponsible behavior.
This could include things like: abusing alcohol or drugs, driving while intoxicated, failing to pay bills on time, excessive gambling, being unable to handle his finances, and so on. If your partner is behaving in a way that's harmful to himself or to you, it's imperative that you speak up and discuss your concerns with him.
3. Your partner fails to honor his word and keep his commitments.
I know that none of us are perfect, and we all screw up from time to time. But if your partner is a mature responsible man, he will fess up and give you a sincere heartfelt apology for whatever he did wrong. The majority of the time, though, he should be honoring his word and the commitments he makes to you.
This means that if he says he's going to call you on Tuesday night at 8PM, your phone should be ringing on Tuesday night at 8PM (give or take a few minutes, of course)!
If he says he'll pick you up on Saturday at 4PM, he should be at your doorstep on Saturday at 4PM. And if he's delayed for any reason, he should have the decency to call or text you to let you know. That's what honoring one's word and commitments is all about!
So these are the battles that I would pick with my partner if the situation ever arose. Now I want to hear from you! What types of battles do you feel are worth picking? Please leave a comment below and share your thoughts on this issue.
Here are 3 "battles" that I believe are worth picking:
1. Your partner does or says something that's downright hurtful or rude to you.
When I was dating and my partner behaved unacceptably towards me, I called him out on it and tactfully let him know that I was not going to put up with his hurtful words and/or actions. For example, I once dated a man who went 2 weeks without calling me (and this was several months into our relationship!) When he finally "resurfaced", I politely but firmly let him know that if we were going to have a relationship, I needed him to keep in contact with me on a regular basis.
2. Your partner engages in (or is about to engage in) irresponsible behavior.
This could include things like: abusing alcohol or drugs, driving while intoxicated, failing to pay bills on time, excessive gambling, being unable to handle his finances, and so on. If your partner is behaving in a way that's harmful to himself or to you, it's imperative that you speak up and discuss your concerns with him.
3. Your partner fails to honor his word and keep his commitments.
I know that none of us are perfect, and we all screw up from time to time. But if your partner is a mature responsible man, he will fess up and give you a sincere heartfelt apology for whatever he did wrong. The majority of the time, though, he should be honoring his word and the commitments he makes to you.
This means that if he says he's going to call you on Tuesday night at 8PM, your phone should be ringing on Tuesday night at 8PM (give or take a few minutes, of course)!
If he says he'll pick you up on Saturday at 4PM, he should be at your doorstep on Saturday at 4PM. And if he's delayed for any reason, he should have the decency to call or text you to let you know. That's what honoring one's word and commitments is all about!
So these are the battles that I would pick with my partner if the situation ever arose. Now I want to hear from you! What types of battles do you feel are worth picking? Please leave a comment below and share your thoughts on this issue.
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