When I first began my car search, I test-drove many different makes and models of cars without first researching whether they had the specific features I was looking for in a vehicle. While it was fun getting to see what all the cars were like, I ended up wasting a lot of time because some of the cars I test-drove clearly lacked certain safety features I really wanted in a vehicle. But once I narrowed down exactly what I was looking for, my car-buying decision became a no-brainer. I was able to easily eliminate all of the cars that lacked my must-have criteria and purchased the car that had them all.
How this applies to dating:
Very often, we jump into relationships with people without really knowing whether they share our core values, relationship goals, and must-have criteria. We end up wasting weeks, months, and sometimes years of our lives with guys who are totally wrong for us.
To avoid this common pitfall, it's important to get crystal clear on what your must-haves/non-negotiables are BEFORE you get into a relationship with anyone. That way, it becomes easier to weed out the Mr. Wrongs so you can concentrate on finding Mr. Right!
2. Looks are important, but they're not everything
Never once did I test-drive a car I didn't like the looks of. After all, I need to like and feel comfortable driving it everyday! But as important as looks are, I would never consider buying a car whose reliability ratings were poor. After all, what good are its sleek looks and styling if kept breaking down all the time? I knew I needed a car that was BOTH nice-looking AND reliable. The key was to strike a balance between the two.
How does this apply to dating?
You could be dating the best guy in the world, but if he lies, cheats, and treats you like garbage, what good is he? Would you REALLY be happy in the long run with someone like that? Probably not!
That's why it's so important to find someone who has a good-looking face AND a good heart too. If you want to have a relationship that stands the test of time, you need a partner who not only turns you on, but also gives you the love, respect, and commitment you deserve!
3. When you know what you want, you're more likely to find it.
At the beginning of my car search, I had my heart set on a Subaru Impreza. During that time, I saw Subaru Imprezas wherever I went. It seemed like they were all over the place on every road I traveled.
Then I test-drove a Mazda 3 which I also liked very much. Before long, guess what I started noticing on the road? Lots of Mazda 3's!
I finally ended up buying a 2018 Toyota Corolla LE. Now I see them everywhere I go.
How does this apply to dating?
Once you identify the key character traits and core values you'd like your partner to have, you'll be able to spot him much more easily.
Why? Because once you get clear on what it is you want in a relationship, and what you won't put up with, you'll become way more selective when you date.
You'll start having more good dates and fewer bad ones. No longer will you waste your precious time with guys who don't have what it takes to give you the loving, committed relationship you desire. You'll give them the boot so fast, they won't even know what hit them!
Instead, you'll only surround yourself with men who DO have what it takes to be a great boyfriend and long-term partner. You'll become so attuned to those traits and characteristics that you'll notice them much more easily when you come across men who have them.
If you're feeling skeptical about any of this, I get it. I didn't believe it at first either. But once I decided to embrace these concepts and give them a try, I was amazed at what happened. Once I got crystal clear on what I was looking for in a partner, I began to meet and attract better quality men and experience more positive results in my love life. Even though most of these men didn't turn out to be Mr. Right, they were still a heck of a lot better than the men I had dated in the past! They were nice; they treated me well; they shared a lot of my interests and values, and were looking to settle down. Dating actually became fun and enjoyable instead of something I dreaded doing!
Seven months later, I met the man who is now my husband. He makes me very happy and is the best thing that ever happened to me.
My advice to you is this: if you haven't done so already, spend some time getting clear on your must-have criteria when it comes to men and relationships. Most importantly, make sure you adhere to those criteria when you date. Then go out, put a smile on your face, and tell yourself every day that he's out there looking for a wonderful lady like you. You might just be pleasantly surprised at the results!
If you would like to learn more about what you really need in a partner to have a happy, successful, long-term relationship, then I invite you to check out my upcoming Meetup event, How to Become a Better Man-Picker and Choose Men Who Are Right For You. You can find out more details by clicking HERE.